Ladies and gentlemen! My name is Russell Edgington. And I have been a vampire for nearly 3,000 years. Now, the American Vampire League wishes to perpetrate the notion that we are just like you. And, I suppose, in a few small ways we are.
We’re narcissists. We care only about getting what we want, no matter what the cost, just like you. Global warming, perpetual war, toxic waste, child labor, torture, genocide. That’s a small price to pay for your SUVs and your flat-screen TVS, your blood diamonds, your designer jeans, your absurd, garish McMansions!
Futile symbols of permanence to quell your quivering, spineless souls. But no. In the end, we are nothing like you. We are… immortal.
Because we drink the true blood. Blood that is living, organic, and human. And that is the truth the AVL wishes to conceal from you. Because let’s face it, eating people is a tough sell these days!
So they put on their friendly faces to pass their beloved VRA but make no mistake, mine is the true face of vampires!
Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals! We will eat you… after we eat your children! [x]